I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
