I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
