everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize