i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
did i just pee glitter
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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