I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
