I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he fucked my hip out of place.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
