Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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