sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
