When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
