and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
