I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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