The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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