similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
