just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
