Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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