he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
