The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
