My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
