The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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