I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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