I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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