oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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