I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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