I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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