I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize