hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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