Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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