At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize