Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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