I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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