hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Quick, to the slutcave!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
