So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize