Im at strip club and am horny
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
