Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
