and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
high people should be assigned attendants
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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