Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"