And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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