You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
