I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories