i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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