What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
