I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
