How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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