so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
