I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
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yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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