"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
