yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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