Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
