Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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