Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
