Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize