at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
