For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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