He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think Iβm in love.
soo... how was my night?
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