I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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