Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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