I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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