elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
