We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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